Tuesday, February 12, 2013

So long, unworthy freak.

There are many reasons why I am closing this blog, but I will try and keep it simple.

This blog no longer serves me, nor does it represent who I am today.
When I started this blog, I was a mile deep in grief.
That is no longer the case.
There are several things I have learned over the past 2 years of having this blog, and I will share this information for those who may be able to benefit from it.

Grief can become your closest companion, if you let it.
Grief will charm its way into your life when you are at your lowest point.
It will take you places you'd never normally go, and you will willingly go there because it's very hard to argue with an emotion which seems to fit so well at the current time.
I fell deeply for grief, and allowed it to take over my life for much longer than it deserved to stay.
I allowed grief to drag me down and keep me there.
I learned from this huge mistake, but not until some damage had already been done.
People who haven't been in this position in their lives or relationships don't get it, but the truth is that they aren't supposed to get it.
It hasn't happened to them, so they shouldn't be expected to understand it.
Wisdom is hard to come by, during all stages of grief.
It's only after the grieving is done that we can reflect, learn, and grow from the experiences.
We are either wiser for the lessons, or we simply exist for the rest of our lives from numbness.

Having been back in my hometown for more than a year, I have a few things to say:

I no longer harbor ill wills toward the reasons why and how I ended up here.
I thought I would be 110% miserable here, but this is what really happened:
On the day I had finally made peace with my past and was getting ready to drive back up to Knoxville and quietly commit suicide to get myself out of my own way, a sign came up to me and began to speak.
That sign's name is Ron Scruggs.
March 21 will make one year that we've been together, and I'm still amazed at how fate worked itself out for me, as well as for us.
Folks, I am finally happy with my life and content with exactly who I am.
Moreover, life just keeps getting better because I chose to stay the course and work my way through my own issues, and having Ron in my life is the reward for not removing myself from the picture I was made to fit into, all along.

For the longest, I WAS an unworthy freak.
But for now and for the future, I am just as worthy as anyone else on this earth.
This blog no longer serves my purpose, and it's no longer a reflection of who I am today.
I will never say that every day is going to be successful, because that would be a lie.
But I will say that this third time at life appears to be a charm.
I will no longer allow negativity to dictate my days or nights.
From now on, my future is solely up to me.
Best of luck to everyone, even those I no longer associate with who still read this blog.
Life is worth living, and love is worth having.
Grief is a liar, a traitor, and only a temporary fix to a real problem worthy of a better solution for a brighter tomorrow.
Remember it.

Time to fly from this place I called misery.
Peace to all of you.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


Specifically, human FAIL
Social Media FAIL, compassion FAIL, Christianity FAIL, and overall decent person complete and utter FAIL.
Last week, I had finally reached my limit with several people on the friends list of my Facebook profile, and decided that enough of their sanctimonious bullshit was enough, so I unfriended and blocked them...and some of those people still read this blog...but after reading this, I bet most of them figure out how to unsubscribe from new posts.
So, let me make a few things crystal clear, since there are some residual issues from many months back:
First of all, not once did I EVER say, insinuate, or even hope that you are not entitled to your opinion.
It was wrong, yet typical, of you to try and put words in my mouth, thoughts in my head, and sentences on my status.
If I want shit like that in my life, I'll watch Fox News, listen to Limbaugh's radio show, Glenn Beck's drool-ridden retardcasts, and allow myself to absorb facts not in evidence, 24-7.
Truth be told, though: You are in no position to say one fucking word about an entitlement program, when your very own version of it (aka Government Job) costs astronomically more than any recipient of food stamps in this country, and you dared to refer to them as animals, when it's pious fucks like you who are the exact reason why these people continued getting screwed on pay, eventually lost their jobs, their homes, cars, kids' college fund, 401k, savings, credit score, mega etc, and then get called animals by ass wipes like you for daring to get help feeding their kids.
How dare they not mooch off the taxpayer teat for 25 solid years the way you have, so that they never have to bargain for a raise or an improvement in benefits, right? 
See, what I'm demonstrating here is how 2 can play at your game, only the truth really DOES hurt you....and I won't even get me started on how you referred to all persons in the Middle East as 'sand niggers' whose entire land should be nuked...and you actually wonder where Osama bin Laden got his attitude from.
Oh, and by the way, a good number of these people who you think are in total agreement with you?
They're not, and I'm beginning to hear A LOT from them about how sick they are of your brand of hate, and the same goes for the rest of your friends who cough up the same nonsense: They are sick of it, and they are going to start walking out of your life, so get used to it.
'Thank God' there are a few hundred thousand who serve our country without this kind of attitude, this kind of hate, or this kind of hubris behind them....so in the future, don't even think of doing something for this county in my name, and thanks in advance.
Make sure you've got this much straight, if nothing else from me:
It was not your opinion that caused me to throw you out of my life.
It was your attitude that left me with no other choice but to stop putting up with your shit.
You built that, so you deserve to live with the consequences of ending up only with people who talk, think, sleep, and shit exactly the way you do, and it's people just like you and yours who draw such flawless parallels to the likes of Joseph Mengele and Charles Manson.
How very proud you must be.
Last and never will be least: How about you take that bible you claim to follow so well, and actually read something other than what any 3rd grader can Google to fit his or her agenda?
I know your God sure would appreciate it, and so would the rest of the world who can think without a conservative pundit telling them how.
Good riddance, and may the natural selection you praise God for one day cut your lame ass down to size.
You made your lie, now bed in it.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

More self-serving stupidity from the self-RIGHTeous

It appears that my last blog post has pissed a few people off, and rightfully so.
You wanted a world like this.
You got it.
Deal with it.
Now, on to the next subject: Christmas shit beginning in September:

To all the conservatives who are whining like a 2-year-old about seeing Christmas stuff everywhere, when it's not even Thanksgiving yet:
Welcome to the world you so desperately desired.
It's called C-A-P-I-T-A-L-I-S-M.
It's that free market thingy which you so vehemently stood behind, remember?
You fell in line with the notion that the free market would correct itself, and this is the result.
Personally, I wish all these places would move into your yard with every light at Q-Beam strength, and music blaring through a faulty-wired megaphone...that way, you could get the full picture of how the rest of us feel about it.
You now have the world you and yours spent several generations voting for, so use up some of that 'personal responsibility' and take some of your own advice:
"Put your big girl panties on, and deal with it."
I think they should start it in July, next year!
Egg Nog and in-season watermelon, anyone?

One more thing:
I would also venture to guess that this whole imaginary "War on Christmas" thingy is now rendered pure bullshit as well, seeing as how I have now broken down your theory on the supposed broken free market.
One can only hope that some day, something will finally click that switch on in your brain, and help you figure out that you have been brainwashed.
You may put your big girl panties on and deal with that one, also.
And yes, Fox News idiots, I'm talking to you.
How stupid are you to believe a network's manufactured "War On Christmas", just so they can make even more of a profit from YOUR stupidity?
This is the world you asked for. 
Are you happy now?
What's that smell?
Ah...There it is.



Monday, November 12, 2012

Now that America has spoken...

The following are some important messages for members of the Tea Party, regardless of which chapter you may be in, and for every corner of the United States.
If you're offended by this, perhaps you need to be.

Dear Tea Party members, nationwide:

The time has come for you to take some of your own advice, when it comes to 'personal responsibility', and accept some cold hard truths about your plethora of mixed messages over the past 4 years, now that America has given you a majority opinion of its own:

It's not Obama's fault that you're an idiot.
It's not Obama's fault that you're an asshole.
It's not Obama's fault that you don't understand basic math.
It's not Obama's fault that you're prone to racism.
It's not Obama's fault that you're prone to being a pernicious bigot, whether or not you realize it.
It's not Obama's fault that you failed reading comprehension and applied logic, when it comes to following the teachings of Jesus Christ.
It's not O
bama's fault that you don't bother to read factual bar graphs and charts from reliable sources on unemployment going down in the past 4 years, stock market value going up in the past 4 years, more terrorists being killed in the past 4 years, and how our constitution doesn't apply to just you but to same sex couples who should have always had the right to marry.
It's not Obama's fault that you don't know 9th grade American history, or the fact that America has never been a 'Christian nation' with 'Christian principles' (see Joseph McCarthy on Google, for more details).
It's not Obama's fault that you think all homeless people are lazy bums who need to take a bath and get a job, when you refuse to hire until Obama leaves office (some of those homeless people are among the approximately 200,000 veterans who will be sleeping on the street, on any given night).
It's not Obama's fault that you hate him more than you love America.
It's not Obama's fault that you give every moderate conservative a bad name.
It's not Obama's fault that you refuse to comb the 'trickle down' fairy dust from your brain.
It's not Obama's fault that you honestly want millionaires and billionaires to pay less of a tax rate than you, when there are a couple thousand of them who don't pay one dime.
It's not Obama's fault that you made him look more appealing to voters age 18-29.

You and your marionettes, now known as Super PACs, have spent one hell of a fortune to turn attitudes and tempers back to 1970, the treatment of women back to 1950, the economy back to 1930, and lost your asses by wishing to double down on your drooling hopes of one man failing.
For the past 4 years, you have stormed town hall meetings and caused physical altercations, you have stormed the streets with all of your guns and misspelled signs, you have harassed homeless people and those with physical handicaps, you have paraded around with a bible in one hand then a gun in the other, preaching to those of whom you feel need it, when it's not your place to tell a soul in this country what to do.
If you want to see a great deal of what's wrong with this country, find the closest mirror and take a good look.
Your incredible ignorance and stupidity astounds me, even worse than what many to the far left of me often do.
And now, you have begun petitioning the White House to allow your home states to secede from the union.
You want to leave? Hire me at a decent wage, and I'll gladly pack your shit for you, close enough to guaranteed that no moving company in this country could do any better, because I know exactly how they take their shortcuts, which is something I refuse to do.
Bottom line: You took this bet, you lost close to your entire ass on it, and now you're whining like a 2-year-old about it. Well, them's the breaks here in America. And, as it was often said in the 60s to all the hippies who protested the Vietnam War: 
And, if you do leave, may Charles Darwin refuse to make you an example of his fine craftsmanship.
You deserve to find out the hard way just what it's like to live somewhere else, especially where people could live in places you wouldn't dare walk into wearing a Hazmat suit, and they will have never had it so good.
Goodbye, good luck, and good riddance to bad trash.
Observe the photo, below.
Remember what happened on September 12? I do. If you don't, Google the date with Glenn Beck's name beside it. That should jog your memory.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Cause for concern

Genuine compassion has somehow been replaced with "What's in it for me?", and I can't help but be sincerely worried for those who grow up with good hearts and even better actions, only to be crushed by the reality that too many people in this world don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves.
Being selfish has become an art form, one of which I am blessed to have never learned.
I may not know how to negotiate, but I have no problem with compromise.
People are going to one day be very surprised when karma gives them a big shot in the ass, and I have no interest in being a fly on the wall when it happens.
Futures often take the form of chisels, so carve wisely...and yes, "Conservative Christians", I'm talking to you.

Galations 6:2
"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Thursday, October 25, 2012

I am Sam

I wish to reintroduce myself to everyone who reads this blog, and then I will explain.
I am not Paul Burton.
I am Sam Gibson.
Why did I use the name Paul Burton?
Because of the following reasons:
If Jack had made it out of the hospital, rather than passing away, he and I had agreed to go to the closest state which allows same sex marriage, and I would have legally changed my name from Sam Gibson to Paul Burton.
Paul is my middle name, and Jack's last name was Burton.
Hopefully, this clears up any previous confusion or misunderstandings.
If not, you're beyond help.
I figured I could at least be honest about my name, since I had been close enough to fully honest about everything else on this blog, and within what is otherwise a personal, and surprisingly quiet life.
Sorry for not being around on this blog, for quite a long time.
As previously mentioned, my blog had disappeared and I literally had to fetch it out of Blogger's 'trash bin', so to speak.
Now that I have retrieved it, I can begin talking about what all has transpired since I was last making regular entries in here.
Hope to 'see you' soon, everyone....and if you're still interested in my life, after all this time, this index finger's for you.  <3

Peace and love to all, FROM SAM.  :)

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I don't know why, but I have been unable to view this blog for a VERY long time and still cannot.
If I can ever get this straightened out, I hope to come back and pick up where I left off.
There is much to say, and that's putting it lightly.