Narcolepsy: A hate story

Does anyone else deal with this shit? Narcolepsy is scary!
The first time I can recall this happening to me was in early 1994, while driving down a 4 lane highway with 3 other people in the car. We were all stoned out of our minds (as usual, in those days), the stereo was blaring, everyone was blabbing away, giggling, etc, so no one was aware that even though I was using my left arm and hand to keep my head positioned in place, it wasn't working out.

What I began seeing is something similar to a surrealistic Dali painting, but not in the common 'chromableed' acid form (LSD is an entirely different topic, and yes...we will certainly go there as well, some day). The highway then began to have a slight diagonal appearence, sort of like the first time I tried using Buspar for my panic attacks, but had not been prescribed as of yet (Meds are another topic we will cover, and there will be MANY posts for that).

By the time my vehicle began to run across the devices in the road which give a slight scrubbing and 'hum' sound, underneath, I did snap back just in time to ease the car back into a lane and at the same rate of speed. Luckily, all passengers barely noticed anything. In fact, I told them I thought that part of my cigarette 'cherry' had landed on the floorboard....and of course, everyone in the car believed it. Only after arriving back at a friend's house, safely, did I actually admit what had happened. The only female of the 3 passengers asked why I didn't say something and pull over. I told her that whatever happened, I couldn't talk and had basically passed out. She didn't believe me, of course...not because she was looking to make fun of me, but because she was simply unaware of what took place. So was I. It freaked me out, and I can still remember it well.

If there is one thing I have always prided myself on, it's my driving. I learned to drive from my father who, in my opinion, was one of the best. That incident truly upset me, but it was just a sign of many incidents to come and much worse, I might add.

Several years later, sometime in the early '00s, I remember trying to walk out of the bathroom. Suddenly, everything on the walls began to appear as if they were on the ceiling. My legs and feet became all but useless. My only saving grace was my arms and hands. I placed my hands on what still looked to be on the ceiling, which confused my mind that much further. By instinct, I barely remembered which direction the hallway was located on, so I attempted to take one step in that direction, only to fall on my side. Immediately, I tried to stand up and immediately fell again. I continued those steps until finally reaching my bed. Keep in mind that my bed has a 33 inch drop, which meant that my body took the act of getting in that bed as climbing a mountain.....but somehow, I managed to get in it.

Plenty of you who are reading this know very well that I'm a former drug addict and alcoholic. Are those to blame? I don't know. Stress could also cause it, and so could an imbalance of Circadian Rhythm.

My dumb ass also learned the hard way not to even try sitting straight up in bed with a cigarette. Yep, I burned a nasty hole in a perfectly made quilt from the 40s which was made out of squares from the old flour and sugar sacks from back in the day. Yes, I still have the quilt. That will be a reminder to never, EVER, smoke in bed again. This happened in 2002, and I haven't dared to put an ashtray anywhere near my bedroom since that incident.

I'm aware of a classmate who used to be a bar manager of a restaurant where I currently reside (Knoxville, Tennessee). She said there was a nightly customer who kept his hands on the bar a certain way, to where if he suddenly 'passed out' (as she called it), his head would at least have a chance to land on his hands instead of the bar. OK...First of all, why was she serving him alcohol when she knew he had that condition? Second: Alcohol may be legal, but isn't there some type of grey area where a bar manager's moral compass should kick in and say, "Hey...you know, I really shouldn't be serving this guy anything else."? Is it just me, or did this chick really screw the pooch when it came to watching out for that man's best interest? Granted, he knew he had the condition because he told her what it was and therefore, he knew the potential hazards. But, didn't anyone else of authority in that restaurant see it, night after night? Shouldn't THEY have done something about it, or at least decided on a limit of drinks which could be served to this man? For me, 2 would have been the limit.

My incidents of Narcolepsy have sadly increased since Jack (My late better half) had become so sick and was in the hospital for the 90 days prior to his passing away. They have only become worse since then. Over the past 2 weeks, in fact, I have slept more nights in my recliner than in my own bed which might be 20 paces away from said recliner. I often wake up with the remote for the tv, or even the cell phone, at my feet or trying to creep under my lap. A couple of times, I have found my slippers off my feet and sitting in odd locations in proximity to where my feet are.

All I can do is hope that the frequency of these episodes will begin subsiding (again) after all these years. I certainly don't need that popping up so frequently, again. Also, I can't take Provigil because of the screaming headache it gives me. And, my body hates medical grade amphetamines of any kind.

We will see what happens. If you know of someone with this condition, do not take it as a joke and try not to mentally micromanage what may be going on. Just help that person either pull off the road, get down the hallway toward his/her bed (take away any potential cigarettes AND ashtrays), and ask about potential drug or alcohol usage. Check into what medications may be currently used. For some, depending on what meds, they can certainly exacerbate the problem.

ALWAYS check on your friends. You never know what could happen, or may happen, if you don't.

♥~Peace and Love to all~♥