The 'feel good' approach to life typically doesn't pay off, in the long run. I now have an uncle who died a young 65 years old as proof, as if enough proof within both sides of my family didn't already exist.
The man (If we want to call him that) could not handle anything that didn't make him drunk, stoned, dance, bank bound or have an orgasm. Life which had an unpleasant quality was an enemy, when it needed to be taken as a challenge.
This man, whose father ran off and left MY father, his sister, and their mother working in a shipyard in Georgia during the World War II era, should have had the common sense to know that in life, you get to deal with shit because that's part of what fertilizes growth within everything from bountiful harvests to fruitful and balanced lives. Did he bother to apply the lessons his mother endured? Of course not, and his offspring are no better. If anything, they're worse.
His children also stumbled through life unaware that the feel good only approach would ultimately affect them as well, and affect it certainly has. The son is strung out on meth (I doubt that's all), and the daughter couldn't care less about anything or anyone unless someone has something which will profit her, or give her an easy route to doing the minimal, if that much, and receiving everything she didn't earn.
This uncle threw away his health over booze, an awesome job over another guy's wife who ended up screwing another co-worker besides just him, tossed a plumbing business out the window because it didn't grow to an overnight sensation to make him immediately rich, and broke off a relationship with someone who actually wanted to truly love him, marry him, and grow old with him. I just don't get it.
Everyone on this earth has their faults, so don't think I'm letting myself off the hook for anything. But, one would think that with an upbringing such as his, and military training (which means emotionally tearing down and rebuilding), and a mechanical mind that I could only dream of would have at least sustained him to be somewhat content. What the hell is wrong with people who can never seem to see the forest for the trees?
To my knowledge, no one ever said there was a real mental disconnect. Having several of my own, I think someone missed an opportunity to at least try a few medications and cognitive behavioral therapy sessions....and that's at the very least.
The only silver lining: My brother and sister, as teenagers, took their cars to him every time they fucked something up and needed him to smooth the problem out before my parents could catch wind of it. On the other hand, one morning I was driving into town and guess who I saw on the side of a road with chain and hook at the ready? Uncle, of course. When I pulled over, he immediately recognized my car. He just stood there, shaking his head with a smirk on his face. As soon as I got out of my car and closed the door, his words (which I can still hear) were, "Well, I guess this was life's way of paying me back for all I've done."
Ironic, when you consider his life as a whole. Outside the family, only a few really liked him and no one really loved him. For that, the life ended on an empty note. How sad.
RIP, Uncle....
Wow.
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