First of all, we have been conditioned from childhood to believe a lie. Marijuana is nature, and nature is how basically every medication is made. If you have a problem with the nature your god created, I don't know what to say, except for a suggestion that you read your bible.
Second: I miss working. I miss having that extra purpose of waking up, other than to watch programs I usually find boring, or listen to the same music repeatedly and the like. I miss the daily interaction. Work has rewards which exceed money and benefits. Not only do I remember them well, but I wish I could have them back. Speaking of back......
In April, 2001, I fell down my staircase (ALL the way down) into my basement. My ribs, shoulders, middle back, lumbar region, basically all of me, felt every hit from every step. One side of my hip is still larger than the other (Realize that this is more than ten years later).
I still cannot stand for more than 10 minutes without feeling severe discomfort that is well on its way toward annoying pain. Even with that pain, I also have Spinal Stenosis.....a condition in which parts, or all of the leg, or legs, will go numb.....and this is on top of the pain I already deal with. This happens while driving, has happened while walking, has hit at the moment of back injury, and has caused many a subsequent fall.
I am used to walking fast. Even with my condition(s), the urge to walk quickly is just there and always has been. I don't walk as fast as I did, when I got down here. I pay much more attention to what I do and how I do it. To a degree, it has helped. But, that creates limits on what I can do, because I am taking the risk of having no medication as a buffer.
You did read the last sentence correctly: The next time I have a fresh back injury, there will only be Neurontin to fall back on, and there is not enough to sustain me, should I have to begin taking it on a regular basis, again. There is no opiate related narcotic relief. For the past 3 years, I have been off of it and luckily, have not injured my back bad enough to need them....yet. Furthermore, Neurontin is only supposed to be good enough for nerve pain and that's off label use. I ignore more pain than I address.
So, incase you think I am collecting disability because I am lazy, do think much further. On top of that, feel free to take on the knowledge of my psychiatrist, who has 18 years of medical school behind him (and the proof of 2 MRI results, on my back). Moreover, a family of 3 spends more on groceries than my disability check, per month. If you think you can live like this, go right ahead and try. I will be waiting and laughing my ass off, when you return my responsibilities to me.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. I did say that I am not going to lie and while I would prefer not to revisit this subject, I will still answer questions if they are presented with reason and without tired, stereotypical rhetoric.
The reason I conclude that there is a lot to be said for medical marijuana is because there is legitimate medicinal properties to the stuff. There is actual pain relief, there is a calming 'effect' not related to getting high (thus, eliminating the need for Trileptal), though I still get to deal with panic attacks. I can't do anything about those, once they start. In fact, no one can.
There is a huge difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks. I should not be doing your homework for you, but these can be crippling. There are witnesses to what mine are like and everyone of them will tell you that they have never seen an attack like these. My heart rate is not affected, but my fingers draw inward until they touch. You can pull them apart, but they literally slap right back together, as soon as you let go of them. The attacks are that severe. Before my diagnosis, 2 paramedics saw what happened (as did a restaurant full of customers). Even the paramedics knew this was nasty.
I understand, very well, that taking the "Physician heal thyself' approach can be incredibly dangerous. I am removing the safety net, which has been there for at least a decade and in some situations, almost 2 decades. I would be lying if I said I were not apprehensive about even trying this. I took 3 weeks and pondered most possibilities, should something bad happen. I did my research, read testimonials (taken with proper grains of salt, obviously) and took into account that it could possibly be overstated, as well as under appreciated. To me, the risks outweigh the side effects of all that medicine I stuffed down my throat, day after day, year after year. Enough, already.
All indicators (In other words, my own living proof) are that this is a better solution and for now, that solution is a reality. But, don't worry; If this solution becomes a bust, you will be among the first to know about it.
From here, feel free to ask your questions. If they are not related to common rhetoric, I will gladly answer them. But, if I feel you are using them to a political angle, I will trash you big time, in the next post. Count on it.
Don't pretend to know how someone's feet are feeling, until you have walked at least a mile in their shoes.
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