The changing of my own rules

There is so much about me that my friends and readers do understand, but perhaps I didn't explain myself well enough and I only have myself to blame for that. Moreover, this is a day which apparently needed to happen. On that, here goes a rant:

I am an old school, somewhat politically progressive man who just so happens to be a free thinker. I don't just talk. If enough comes my way, good AND/or bad, that talk will become action at lightning speed, and with laser focused anger.
My thoughts are not always productive, but my words have had a knack for connecting with people.
Those words, unfortunately, have not made me one thin dime while others gladly ran with those words and cashed in with them. The prestige of name recognition is a great thing and I will take what I can get, for now. But, prestige does nothing for a vehicle which has not left the parking lot of this apartment complex since my arrival, on July 20. It also pays no bills, puts no groceries on the table, nor does it help my roommates with THEIR bills, which I have tried my damndest to help with, as much as possible....and it just isn't enough.
With all of this in mind, I give the following declarations (Manifesto? Call it what you will....at this point, I truly don't give a fuck):

There will be no more free words for your flow of profit. If it means shutting this entire blog down, removing myself from various Facebook pages and making my profile 100% privite, in order to enforce this declaration, so be it.

I am more than tired of seeing people with no morals or shame give hope to me, in the hopes that I will continue to produce more freebies, and never receive anything but the 'Attaboy', in return.

I am NOT a marionette or anyone's slave. I will be my own person, even if it means taking my own life just to remain free.....and before you take that wrong, NO: I am not suicidal. I'm just madder than hell, and for several reasons.

I will be creating a company name, and I will be creating a Paypal account.

I will begin keeping my original thoughts and phrases under lock and key, and the rest will be password protected.

If it requires that I sell my entire estate just to pay for copyrights to all of my own original material, while I slum it off of ramen noodles in a storage unit until the right person takes my work seriously and begins to pay me for what comes from MY mind, and from MY keyboard, then that's a decision I am willing to live with.

The past few years have been a mental whirlwind, but the past year has been a learning experience that I MUST keep into mind.
December 9 made one year ago that I became a widow, and here I sit at the apartment of 2 very dear friends who need their privacy and space, just as much as anyone.....and I am now getting in the way of it.
Thanks to my mind freezing up, and thanks to me attempting to jump at opportunities, thanks to constant critique from a family who has made the majority of their living from the Department of Defense (and I don't, so I'm nobody), I have become quite depressed yet again.

While I should know better than to let the words and actions of others get me down, I am only human. I can only take so much of people not being able to take a damn good look in the mirror at their own hypocrisy and understand that they wouldn't have a pot to piss in without selling their soul to someone or something, somewhere way back when.
Forgive me (or not....don't care which) for refusing to conform, but I am my own person.
I march to my own drum. I think and write as I god damn well please and from now on, if someone wants to use any of my ideas, they will pay me for them.

To reiterate, in case it applies to you: YOUR FREE FUCKING RIDE IS OVER. PAY UP, OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.

Forgive the rant, but I have also had to conclude that I think better and ideas flow easier when I'm depressed. I don't like it. But, it seems that with so many other shitty aspects in my life, this is the hand I was dealt and on that, I plan to play.....and one way or another, I AM going to win......with or without you in it.

Good day. Peace and love to all, I suppose.
If you can find either, please throw me a map.