The week in review

Movers came in and packed my stuff so quickly that they left me without a single piece of cookware, utensils, silverware, no shoes except the ones I was wearing, packed ALL of my clothes (and I mean ALL of them), even packing for storage things such as flour, cornmeal and etc. Naturally, I had to make them backtrack on plenty but that didn't stop them from doing a truly awesome job, as well as helping me with several things, including storage space at a huge discount.
After looking at more than 20 homes, close to 15 apartments and wasting around $200 in gas, my mind decided it had had enough and I'm now in a VERY small room with half of a kitchenette and weekly rates. The only saving grace is wi-fi.
On the last day of moving (and after I was settled in my room), my mother called and after a few comforting words, she tells me, "Son, don't be so despondent.".....You know, I have been holding my head high for the past 3 1/2 months and can count on less than one hand the number of times I have actually grieved. I think I more than earned the right to be despondent. As if that wasn't enough to piss me off, she then told me, "Well, you just need to come down here and be petted for a while.".....I'm 42 god damn years old. The LAST thing I need, from ANYBODY, is to be petted. Between these 2 comments, I should have come unglued and unloaded with all 4 barrels. But, I was and still am too physically and emotionally exhausted to care that much.
I had to go to Walmart, twice. If that one isn't understood, let it be known that prior to this week, I had not stepped foot in any Walmart in more than 2 years. Now, I'm not only reminded of why I didn't miss it but reminded of why I would prefer to wait 2 lifetimes before having to go back. I HATE that place with a passion.
I bought a Notebook computer: HP Mini 210-2000, NICE little machine, but only because there is no space in this room for a PC. I really needed that $300, but I gave my word that I would not abandon this blog. I also promised myself that I would keep up with my journal. So, the money was spent and I'll attempt to either absorb it through my account or spend less next month....which will consist of no travelling, eating less (or eating cheap crap), etc.
I posted a video as one of my blog posts and scared my ex wife big time. Folks, if that video freaked you out, all I can say is that's nothing. Honestly, you should've seen and heard me at the time I began thinking about whether or not to do a video and post it. Then again, perhaps I should have done it at that time. I don't know for sure, but history can't be changed.
This one will haunt me for an unknown period of time and if you know me personally, I don't want to hear it: I had to give away my 4-legged child. The room I'm in is one that I can barely afford and they don't allow pets of any kind. The only place similar to this room that DOES allow them was so expensive, I would not have been able to afford more than a couple of weeks there. This decision has hurt me in so many ways, I really don't know of a way bad enough to say what it has done to my mind, my heart, and my emotional state. The video was posted after I gave him to the animal shelter. To top it all off, someone has already taken him and I expected that. Believe me, I tried using every equation possible to keep him and nothing worked out. I couldn't afford to keep him in a kennel while staying here or anywhere else. I also couldn't keep him in my vehicle because that's abuse (and I would not have done that to him), and trying to keep him here would have left me homeless and I already said that I'm not going through that, ever again. So, make 110% sure that I went through every possibility on keeping him before the unexpainably painful decision of giving him up. This one is going to hurt and for a very long time, I'm positive of that.
Yesterday (Thursday), I woke up with my neck feeling like there are 2 pencils inside trying to poke outward and I was gritting my teeth. Between all of that, I had to take extra meds. As the day went forward, I received another call from mom all but trying to demand that I come down there, and she specifically left long pauses on her end of the dialogue, which notoriously puts me on the spot. Beyond that, I slept most of a beautiful day away and then came the evening. I threw my dinner in the trash because I don't want to hear people in a different room fucking while I try to eat. Later on, the rooms on each side of me were full of partiers....screaming, beating, banging, cackling, I began hearing other rooms popping on the walls to try getting these people to quiet down and to no avail. So, someone called the police and the rooms were evacuated. Silence, finally......at approimately 2:45 AM. I did not get to sleep until approximately 3:30 AM and was up at 6:00 AM. The coffee has barely done anything for me and I can hear maintenance outside with leaf blowers. Today is going to suck.
OK...That's all. Isn't that enough?