Sunday, February 13, 2011

Girls are like phones

Oh my, ladies....you stepped right into this one. Leave it to Paul the smartass to set the record straight on just how much girls are like phones. Here is how the original went, according to what I saw:

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"

Profound, yes? Simple, yet to the point.....and missing SOOO much that I'm compelled to fill in the blanks. Here is the revised edition (and remember, I was married once):
====================================================

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Some of us need batteries, more than ever, for getting on AND getting off.
We get a big charge if you stick something in the right spot.
We cause numbers to be written on all kinds of hands.
Press 1 'button' with the right finger and we speak something other than english.
Babies are amused by us, then they drool all over us.
On certain days, you can remove our batteries and we will STILL be talking.
Put enough of us in one room and we will talk about our husbands all day! Bon Bon?
Hang us on the wall and we'll have a retro 60s kind of time. You want Pea Green or Peeyellow?
Those of us with a dial will outlive all you young hipsters from our graves because we're collectables! That's right, kids....in no time at all, you'll be worth nothing and we'll be worth even more.
Some of us have built in answering machines that recall certain messages FOREVER.
Some of us suddenly lose messages when you need them at the most crucial moment. Oopsie!
Our kids have technology but we have longevity. Guess who wins that one, hands down?
We store information you men will never, EVER, know about and it will be there for years.
Set us down the wrong way and we'll be 'off the hook' until you figure out what you did wrong.
Put us on hold and we will play music you hate with a passion.
We don't mind suds from a bath but really, must you use us while on the toilet?
And finally: If the world shuts off the internet, we will still be here and you will still use us.


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