What can I say? It's a bad day and that just pissed me off!

Just for the hell of it, I decided (first time since I began this blog) to trek upon the worthy gay widows and see how their world is doing, these days. As expected, the holiday and January blues are over, so things appear to be getting better in the world of swimming pools, perfectly designed homes almost worthy of a showcase, and asking others what on earth they will do with the 'his' side of the lavatory because looking at it is JUST too much to bear.
Ummm.....may I now projectile some chunks? Because honestly, I'm not far from it.....
Again, and I'll be crystal clear: When it comes to their loss, they have all the sympathy my mind and soul could possibly give them. But, it's just another place where I don't fit in. It doesn't bother me that I don't, especially now, because I've been given the gift of being on the outside of that world looking in.
It's never good to be forced into the world of a widower, regardless of what happens beyond death and that's an absolute fact. But, I would honestly rather laugh at the most sick jokes, drink like a fish (and tell judgemental twits to kiss my entire ass), take my meds with said drink if I feel like it (same comments go towards said judgemental twits), actually be physically & mentally disabled, lose sleep, deal with Narcolepsy, worry about where I will end up living, etc, than to know that I posted a photo of my double lavatory with boo-hoo and ask random readers what to do with one of the sinks!!!!!
If that makes me a bad person, then I guess it's just another day for me because I'm used to it.
I don't feel I'm worthy of a parade because of my orientation (I was born this fucking way!), Wizard Of Oz is NOT my favorite movie, I hate 99% of the show tunes in existence, I don't like being called 'Bitch' or 'Honey' or 'Girl' by another guy of ANY orientation, I dress as I damn well please and not according to some coked out fashionista, I cook what I want, WHEN I want....lots of chili in the summer....what's the penalty for that, according to the 'gay handbook'....by the way, did you know there actually IS one?
To top all of the preceding off: I took care of Jack for 13 years on my own, never asked for anyone's help (and that includes all 20 hospital visits), while attempting to take care of my damn self and I would gladly challenge anyone, anywhere, at anytime, to have done any better.
Am I just a little pissed off, today? Yeah, you could say that. It just so happens that this is one of those days when my meds aren't doing the job. Such a crime.
Am I jealous of the other widows and their apparent high life? (If I may say this?) DEAR GOD NO!!!!
It's just one of those days, and I get the pleasure of dealing with everyone else's. I do my best not to 'write' or show my ass, when days like this hit. But, I figured it was time to at least pull back the shears and let a little light in on what it's like when I'm not too far away from going off.....and this is a VERY, VERY mild case of it.
In fact, I'm not even going to proof-read this one. I'm going to leave it exactly the way it is....that way, I can come back to it, tomorrow (If my mind is doing any better) and see what the fuck because it's either stop now, or go completely over the edge. I'm still learning my limits.....
Love! Peace! All the other good shit having nothing in common with my day!