I'm not sure what that was

Within the past few hours, I walked down to the basement. I knew there would be some extra meds down there, where I wouldn't have to call for more. Honestly, I don't feel like seeing the shrink. It's nothing personal against him, but I just don't feel like going there.
While rounding up the extra meds, I found several rings and watches, some are mine, some were his, and found the last letter from dad (Approx August 4, 2007). I also found 2 stuffed bears, 1 still in the package.
While carrying all of it toward the stairs, I had to quickly stop and put everything on top of the washing machine. I went into literal hysterics and blacked out. When I came to, I was on the floor but seated and surrounded by dirty laundry with my head against the washer. There is some pain around the right hip socket. I hope that doesn't become worse. I'm still not sure how long I was down there. I've been avoiding clocks, completely.
I don't know if that is supposed to be grief or not, but I'm now numb from the amount of meds which were immediately necessary. 'Writing' about this is now causing the jitters. I think I need to stop.
Eventually, I need to go back to what I said I would be talking about and I will.
Know that each day brings everything unknown and with that, I can only 'promise' to bring so much.
Once again, thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in reading this blog. You all have no idea, none whatsoever, how much it means just to know that anyone gives a shit.
This is not a cry for help nor a cry for attention. I'm really not sure what it is, however.
Just bear with me, day by day. Peace and love to all.  ♥