Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wounded Doves are just like us.

Whether or not it's admitted, we humans basically are animals of sorts. We may not exhibit the exact same activities as them, but our behaviors aren't too far away from being similar enough.
The example which immediately comes to mind is a wounded Dove and how the behavior(s) of one is so strikingly similar to a human who has been badly hurt, emotionally and/or otherwise:
That wounded Dove isn't one specific color, and can recall the pain which caused the injury quite well. That injury or injuries inflict a pain that eventually needs to be absorbed in order to carry on, though life will never be the same.
A Dove with wounded wings: By instinct, the ability to spread the wings will always be there. Otherwise, what's the point of existence? With the right stimuli, those wings will spread. Flying, however, is an entirely different matter.
With enough care shown, the Dove will come to trust (albeit barely) who is helping those wings to heal. But if frightened enough, or if trust becomes an issue, the Dove will go out of its way to fly in any direction just to get away from who is trying to help....even at the risk of injury and sometimes death. It happens far too often.
If healed enough yet still engrained with fear, the Dove may fly but it will be in any direction but up. The Dove still doesn't trust flying at that level. And the person who is so eager to help begins thinking, "Damn...What will it take for this beautiful, majestic bird to fly as it should again?", only to continue waiting because only the Dove will know the answer and usually gives no indicator of when, where, or even how. Patience becomes an issue, and the helper becomes discouraged though wishing to remain faithful to the project and goal.
Time passes and the Dove is now taking short bursts off the perch again, but still the apprehension is enough to send the helper into a raging fit from all the work which was put in just to see that Dove truly fly again, only to be disappointed and discouraged even more.
The helper begins to think, "Should I even bother, anymore? I'm beginning to wonder what the point is, when I've done all I can to help this Dove hit the sky in full motion, just like every other Dove up there, and I'm just not seeing results!"
For the helper: Remember that a wounded Dove is just like a human who has been badly burned by something or someone within life. That Dove may fly again, but there is usually a new limit to what is NOW the sky. Things are simply never the same again, and that's a normal pattern of behavior.
Let go of such high expectations, because it places unattainable goals on the Dove. Even the amount of flight, be it more or less, is part of typical change within a life of any kind. Let the Dove be what it will be. You can only expect so much and the often best thing to do is just step back, take as many deep breaths as needed until a remote sense of calm is reached, then understand that life isn't meant to stay the same. Attempt to welcome, or at least accept changes that come. Those changes may not be graceful, sexy, or even understood....but for that Dove, those changes couldn't be more real. Let it fly and let it be.
You helped all you could and while you may not be as pleased with the results as you had hoped for, know that you made a difference. For the sake of that Dove, it needs to be enough. Enjoy what flight you're seeing, because it might have never happened at all.....just like us humans.


No comments:

Post a Comment